Bob made short ribs. He served his enemies the jelly bits, covering them in lots of sauce. Nobody remarked on it. When everyone was gone, Bob cleared the table and rinsed the dishes. He washed his face before bed and as he dried off, he noticed that his wash cloth was covered with burgundy wine stains. Bob looked in the mirror and saw that his nose had become the stump of a carrot, stewed for five hours over low heat. His eyes were two turnips and his mouth was one big jelly bit. He opened his mouth to scream and pan drippings poured out.

“I hope this is a nightmare,” said Bob.

“It isn’t,” said God.