overheardatstarbucks:

Girl #1: I could never be bigger than the guy.

Girl #2: Yeah, you like big fat guys.

Girl #1: I don’t want to, you know, I could like, I could crush him!

Token Guy Friend (who is heavy): Yeah, and you want to be protected?

Girl #1: Yeah, exactly, I want this big giant bear.

Girl #2: Kate, that’s retarded. You’re so small. I think you have a warped view!

Token Guy Friend: No, no, I’ve heard this from a lot of girls.

Girl #2: That they like to date fat guys?

Girl #1: Not fat! Not fat! Just big! Not squishy!

Token Guy Friend: I’m going to go get a refill on this. [back into Starbucks he goes]

Girl #1: Oh no, now he thinks I mean him. And he thinks you mean he’s fat.

Girl #2: Oh my god, oh my god, oh no. He’s really sensitive about that! He was on Atkins!

Girl #1: When he comes back say something about that fat guy you dated, the one who was living in Northridge.

Girl #2: Oh yeah, that’s true. Brian. He was kind of fat.