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Fake Conversation Held During A Fake Dinner Party In My Mind
Kanye West: I find myself resenting Taylor Swift. There was a better way to handle that, you know? That’s not what Jackie O. would have done. There’s a certain grace —
Bono: Grace, mate?
Kanye West: I’m not saying I wasn’t wrong!
Bono: Jackie O. watched as her husband was murdered — the President —
Kanye West: Okay fine but the situation is that something unpleasant is happening; sometimes you just say, you know, what’s the best way to handle being a victim?
Aretha Franklin: Kanye, she just stood there!
Bono: I literally can’t imagine a better way to have handled it.
Kanye West [pointedly, to Bono]: For some reason I guess I just thought you’d understand.
Bono: And what is that supposed to mean?
Kanye West: Oh, nothing.
Bono: No, no, really. Please. Tell me. I’m a goddamn humanitarian.
Kanye West: I read the blogs, Bono, but you obviously don’t.
Aretha Franklin [tearfully]: Stop, stop, would you both just stop!!
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