April 2012
things that should have been invented by now:
1. floating chairs.
2. cat litter that dematerializes by remote. then new cat litter materializes in its place.
3. super-sweet grapefruits.
4. pills that give you great hair.
5. a machine that makes tiny loaves of french bread and fits onto your coffee maker.
6. a coffee maker the size of a lighter that makes foam and has a caramel compartment.
...
March 2012
Fat-Shaming Your First Grader
I just read Katie JM Baker’s excellent response to the Vogue article that will live in infamy, in which Vogue staff writer Dara-Lynn Weiss puts her seven-year-old daughter on a strict diet and then, you know, writes about it for all to see (she has a book deal now). I’m no parenting expert, and I’m sure that hearing that your child is clinically obese from a doctor isn’t...
built to spill —in the morning
Tuesday Wednesday Story Time
Morris was watching Southland when he realized that a police siren was nearing his house. Immediately he panicked: so they knew.
He quickly changed clothes, stuffing his sweatpants into the overflowing hamper, then thinking to cover them with some of the stuff from the bottom, mostly sweatshirts, that smelled. That would put them off. He cleared the beer bottles, an open pack of...
I wrote about Jason Russell, Kony 2012 and internet boomerangs over at Grantland, if you want to read it! If not, that’s okay, I’ll never know.
kurt vile —he’s alright
benji hughes — i went with some friends to...
WatchTender is the blog.
I have been writing Wipe Your Feet since 2008. In the past few years, I’ve been writing for a few other places too, but this blog will always be my favorite because I can get as weird as I want. When I write for somewhere (or someone) else, I bake my thoughts all the way through so they aren’t liquid in the center, but I don’t have to do that here. Sometimes...
WatchThis is the best thing that the internet has ever given to me.
crowdsourceinspiration:
Hadnot Creek tells the tale of a murderous gypsy/witch, and it is the first track from Eli’s new EP. He learned it while traveling through North Carolina some time ago. It’s not for the faint of heart. We devote this posting to Tess at tesslynch—for her great stories and audio content—and to these blogs with...
david brent — freelove freeway
fats domino —my blue heaven
Sunday Story Time
I was sitting in a booth at Minetta Tavern, enjoying being the center of attention at my own book party. It had been a long ten-year struggle: at times I felt that my brain was going to hemorrhage from summoning the painful memories of my childhood spent languishing in suburbia, my grandmother’s paranoid schizophrenic outbursts, and when I watched my parents drown the nine kittens that my...
jack white — you know that I know (hank...